underappreciated/unvalued/taken for granted/invisible
cook/errand girl/laundry operator/official nag
Circle any two or three or all from the first set of adjectives and then any two or three or all from the subsequent nouns.
Any combination is correct.
Don't get me wrong, there is no place I would rather be. My heart is firmly grounded and set and happiest when making a home for my precious husband and babies. And it is my great pleasure to do so...most of the time.
But I remember from my career days that not every day is Fun Friday Jean Day at work. And this is life. And no surprise. And all been said before.
Bear with me...
Back to last night, when my poor husband is brushing his teeth for bed and has no idea I've been stewing all day.
Have you ever seen one of those nature shows where a lion is hunting in the African bush, waiting to pounce on a poor, unsuspecting, thirsty gazelle that simply wanted a drink of water from the stream? Head low, eyes sharp, big paws kneading dirt from side to side, waiting for That Moment. That Moment that is opportune for the lion...not so much for the gazelle.
That is the subtlety with which I broached the topic as soon as my husband's fingertips touched his side of the sheets to tuck in.
God is still working on my Timing Belt...
At any rate, chalk up the sun going down on my anger as something I had to confess this morning.
I woke up early enough spend some quiet time with the Lord and start a blog on a completely different topic I was excited about. But, as God is often wont to do, my heart wouldn't let go of phrases I had said last night, that desire to be appreciated, that sharp, unpleasant taste of bitterness for being a servant to these people that aren't grate-....
wait, what?
servant
That word. Clapping and ringing with an echo in my head like an enormous bell.
Jesus Christ, the man at the center of my life, was the biggest servant this world has ever seen.
He gave up-
food...
His home...
every day of His life on this earth...
...in order to teach others' about our Father.
He washed the feet of His friends.
He prayed until He bled to be prepared to serve.
He gave and gave and gave.
And never once have I read where Christ needed acknowledgement or asked for thanks or demanded attention for what he was giving.
On days when I feel like I give and give and give (serving the needs of my family mainly) my flesh craves words of appreciation and affirmation. Needs to know I make a difference.
Demands to be noticed.
Demands to be seen.
This next part really happened just like this:
I get in the car to drop kids off at school (give) after preparing lunches (give) and instructions on teeth and made beds (give). There are 5 different CDs with 15 different songs on them in my car. The last song we listened to was a snappy little kid ditty about a Juicebox (GIVE). Having been to the grocery store by myself the day before, I distinctly remember riding in silence because silence is rare around here and I like to grab it when I can. Pulling out, I hear these words from an old Watermark CD we love to listen to...
Right. On. Cue.
'You win the war over me and my worship will be a life that is....hidden in You.'
Hidden in You.
Ever notice the days we quietly serve with obedient hearts by making secret choices to God go much smoother than the days we are demanding attention like a fit-throwing toddler in Wal Mart?
I did yesterday.
Your attitude should be the same as that of Christ Jesus:
Who, being in very nature God,
did not consider equality with God something to be grasped,
but made himself nothing,
taking the very nature of servant,
being made in human likeness,
And being found in appearance as a man,
he humbled himself
and became obedient to death--
even death on a cross!
Philippians 2:5-8
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