The Emperor's Ugly New Clothes

Several mornings ago, I was reading contentedly along, minding my own business when I came across this quote by C.S. Lewis:

"There is one vice of which no man in the world is free; which every one in the world loathes when he sees it in someone else; and of which hardly any people, except Christians, ever imagine they are guilty of themselves...it was through Pride that the devil became the devil: Pride leads to every other vice: it is the complete anti-God state of mind."

My first thought was (and usually is when I read him): 'Wow! C.S. Lewis was SO SMART!'
My second thought: 'Wait a minute.'
I reread the quote, absorbing slowly, got to the period at the end of the sentence and heard a faint, but very distinct, ding!
I think...no....yes...I'm pretty sure...wait...yes...I did.

I just got my bell rung.

Or a God-thump on my head.

Coming from a long line of rowdy, crowd-loving, Irish-Indian, opinionated class-clown soap-boxers...I understand the assigned role of Pride in my life:
Sometimes I might stumble over an apology to my husband when I am very clearly (and neon-signed) WRONG.
I might be embarrassed if the delivery of a joke falls flatter than my hair on a rainy day.
So maybe once or twice (or A LOT) I would rather be late to a function (even church) than not be Scrutiny-Ready.


But C.S. Lewis said that Pride leads to every other vice, didn't he?
A mental smirking of C.S. Lewis. He usually gets it right. Maybe he just missed this one.
I thought I would hold Pride up against just a few of the regular goings-on of my week...testing the Pride root of sin:

A slight stinging when a facebook status update falls flat. No one gets ME.
Pride? Check
I thought so-and-so seemed a little distant when I saw her. Did I do something? Is she mad at ME?
Pride? Check
I can't go into assembly this morning when my kids asked me to. I don't have time to get ready and I refuse to go in looking like I actually do most of the time.
Pride? Check
My husband didn't return my cheerleader-enthusiasm when I excitedly told him about a project I am working on.
Pride? Check
I didn't invite a friend over this week when I thought about it because my house actually looked like five people live and love in it.
Pride? Check
OH-KAY. That's enough of that. That's almost too ugly to type.
What's the common denominator?
Pride.
Oh. And ME.
God will not fight for the throne in our lives. When we sit proudly on that seat reserved for Him, we wear an ugly crown while He stands behind us, hand on our shoulder...waiting for us to move over.
But sometimes He will thump us out of our stupor, thank heavens.
Back to the crown thing...pride is UG-LY. Naturally repulsive to those who witness it. If Pride were an actual, ugly, un-fashionable, What Not To Wear visible accessory...we might be more deliberately aware of when we take it on. Is it like the Emperor's New Clothes, then, where everyone else can see it but I refuse to acknowledge This Ugly Thing?
Ouch.
Too. Ugly. To. Type.
Too ugly to post too, perhaps? Yes. I better not.
Someone may see the messy-loud-impulsive-people-pleasing-occasionally-irresponsible-(insert your own adjective)-ME. Plus, what if someone thinks I'M a terrible writer? It would be awful if I-
Wait...I'm doing that Pride-thing, aren't I?

You got me again, C.S. Lewis. You got me again.

When pride comes, then comes disgrace,
but with humility comes wisdom.
Proverbs 11:2