'Do I need this?'
'Is this a good deal?'
'Can I safely hide this in my car until time to unveil it to my husband?'
On the whole, I'm a pretty discerning shopper.
Unfortunately, I find that critical attitude has leaked over into our looking for a church. We moved to town almost two years ago and are still Church Shopping. You know, the process of walking by a row of churches, holding them up, trying them on and then asking 'Does this one make me look fat?'
This is a new experience for us.
My husband and I have always been fortunate to find a church home in the three towns that we have lived in in the last twelve years. We just walked in, felt a gigantic mental hug, looked at each other and we just knew 'We're home.'
Just like a Lifetime movie, right?
Not so this time.
We have permananent name tags in at least three churches here.
We are on untold email lists and I honestly can't keep up with what church is having the social for what group on what night. I showed up with a green bean casserole to a fasting prayer group.
Not really, but I feel like it would be completely within the realm of possibility lately.
Even though I am ashamed to admit it,this next part really happened.
We went back to the very first church we visited when we moved here. We unwittingly visited a Sunday School class (I am old school and it will always be Sunday School) that we had visited before and both agreed was not 'our style'...never intending to go back.
Well our short-term memory loss and bipolar church attendance put us back full circle.
Currently, the class is dissecting the words of Jesus so it is one passage at a time with much discussion. Somewhere in the middle, there was a lot of rabbit-chasing going on, personal stories, digression, conjecture. There was also a woman sitting RIGHT NEXT TO ME that was chewing her gum more vigorously than I have ever seen any task accomplished. And that is the truth. Right down to the triple-bubble-pop-on-the-inside-of-the-mouth routine. I don't know what it is, but I feel God strategically places Gum Chewers throughout my life to work out what He has started in me. My husband sensed my mental white surrender flag. He literally put his hand on my leg, patted it and said 'Hang in there.'
That's how well I can hide my emotions.
Sunday School is over and we go to Big Church and we have this whole discussion which kind of but not really goes like this:
Me: I respect the fact that you like tradition, the choir to sing in robes and donuts served with coffee every Sunday, but....
Him: Okay. What do you have in mind?
Me: I don't know but I need something.
Him: They seem like nice people that are genuinely interested in each other with the prayer requests and discussion. Don't you think so? But I'm up for whatever. Find us a class and we will visit.
And so it went in this vein...with me basically giving the class two out of five stars.
I remember feeling on the verge of tears. I actually had to pick at an imaginary thread on my dress and blink rapidly or I was going to lose it in frustration. I was completely deflated.
I was looking off to the side, much like when I am mad in the car, and I remember this feeling that struck me...not unlike a lingering warmth after a slap in the face.
It's God's Holy Word.
It's God's Holy Word.
It's God's Holy Word.
It's God's Holy Word.
Those words echoed throughout my empty head.
The Word of God has power and authority.
Power.
And Authority.
Matthew 13 tells us the parable of the four soils.
Some seed fell along the path and the birds came and ate it up. Some fell on rocky places without much soil. Other seed fell among the thorns and was choked out. In other words, some seed was scattered because I wasn't greeted warmly at the door of the church. Some seed was snatched in annoyance because I was focused on the one man in the group who spoke up every time a question was asked. And some seed was snatched because I didn't get the preacher's opening joke.
Sounds shallow, doesn't it?
It is.
I sometimes am.
But I am eternally grateful for God's timely and graceful reminders when I have the good sense to open myself up to listen.
May we never leave unchanged from hearing God's Truth.
The Son is the radiance of God's glory and the exact representation of his being, sustaining all things by his powerful word. Hebrews 1:3
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